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What is an American School?
I always hated the thought of being a teacher growing up. I told myself I would never become a teacher because they aren’t treated well or paid enough, yet I find myself in positions to teach constantly. At every job I’ve had, it has taken about 2 months, and I start training new people. My first job after moving out at 18 was teaching in daycare. Once I found God and began attending church in my hometown, I taught Sunday school and Wednesday night classes. I always end up loving it despite my preconception of the job.
I recently started subbing for a high school, and once again, despite warnings about the struggles of this job, I love it. I love the kids and want them to do well and enjoy a prosperous life. I have so many thoughts about this new job. I do not care about how much I’m getting paid. Being with kids and teaching them is the most rewarding job to me. Of course, I want to make an adult amount of money and make enough to save and for bills, extra for things I want, but I would do this work for free if I could. Funny how things change.
Because of this new experience, I am realizing all sorts of new things about myself. I love to teach, I love education, I love community, and people need so much more love. But just being nice will not help as much as love and discipline can.
Proverbs 22:15 says, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.”
And Proverbs 29:15 says, “The rod and reproof give wisdom,
But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.”
The journey of becoming a Christian has shown me new ways to live my life. Teaching helps me see where I lack, and quickly. I know now I need to become less reactive and more proactive. I need to bring discipline to my teaching, or else they will not find a way to respect me. But growing up with an abusive family, I have always been softer to people. I give mass amounts of grace and mercy, and I’m learning not to give too much. That is another reason I love subbing. I get to learn how to improve in multiple areas of my life while helping fill holes in my community. God blessed me with this opportunity, and now with the knowledge of what direction I would like to take my career.
I have many wonderful things to say about my newfound love, but oh, the troubles it comes with as well. I have never seen high school the way I see it now. I have only had this job for a short time, and already I have learned things about teenagers that I never knew, and never wanted to. And it has led me down the rabbit hole about Generation Alpha.
For many reasons, this generation is very different from mine, Generation Z. And yes, I recognize the problems within my peers, but that is a separate conversation. Gen A may be close in age, but much different in approach and experience. I love the kids I teach, but because of my love for them, I also see the deep-seated problems in the classroom. Do we blame covid for the lack of attention these children receive at home? I was a teenager during covid and yes it sucked, but it only gave my parents all the more time to pay attention to my siblings and I. And I don’t know that I feel specifically neglected because of the pandemic, but that is a question I would like to have an answer for. I know through studies I found my senior year that teenagers were using more substances during covid, and felt more responsibility at a younger age. Asking people around me, I have heard stories about how children during the pandemic have changed completely and not necessarily for the better.
Of course, I do not have any children and do not know what it is like to be younger and go through covid during elementary school, and I’m sure the shift in childhood experiences must have been extreme. Going from blowing bubbles outside with friends, barbeques with family, and constant sleepovers to quarantined and alone has to do something detrimental to the developing brain. I know we all feel lonelier than ever, regardless of the sources we blame.
People thrive in community. Multiple cultures are seen to value it more than America tends to, and you see the difference in their anxiety and depression rates. It is harder to feel the weight of the world when multiple people are carrying it with you. Even in the Bible, Jesus speaks on the importance of communion with the body of Christ, and he is a great example of healthy living. He was always finding time for friends, the poor, children, and those in need. He knew the right balance of social and private life.
So there are multiple possibilities for this neglected generation. Reasons that these kids are left to their own devices, video games, and to themselves. Loneliness kills ,and you can ask just about anyone and get a similar response: people don’t like being alone all the time. So many students have told me things that are concerning about the state of the American home. They often joke about their abusive and alcoholic parents, complain about going home, beg to stay at school, and as a whole, have repeatedly said “They won’t care” when I mention telling their parents something important about them or their education.
Whatever the reason, these kids are struggling. I cannot stand the constant blame on the teachers and the school system. I do my best to see both sides of every story, and in public school, teachers are not meant to be parents. Parents who do less than the bare minimum cannot blame teachers for simply doing a very difficult job. Every teacher has flaws, and every parent, as well as the students themselves. But each person in this system plays an important role.
The notion that parents are paying the teachers’ salaries is an entitled one I am tired of hearing. We all pay our taxes and expect them to be used wisely, but that does not mean we should go around telling people how to do their government jobs. Teachers need more support than ever, teaching in a time where technology and the students are constantly changing with the culture. Responsibility for teachers is greater while their pay stays the same. They are dealing with an indifferent spirit in the children, where they can not be convinced to care about anything.
In the same breath, the students are expected to do a normal amount of work with even less support than the generation before them… or too much support. “Gentle parenting” has become a new joke among Gen Z to highlight the lack of responsibility for the parents of Gen A. Many parents are neglecting discipline for their children under the guise of “gentle parenting”. The notion in itself is not necessarily bad, but the idea that letting children determine right from wrong and their own punishments is a whole world of wrong. Children need parents to guide and lead them, not protect them from every uncomfortable situation the world has to offer. They avoid any growth in the same way they can scroll away from any uncomfortable thing on their phones. This is an easy way to hide from actual parenting skills like setting boundaries and limits, things that children desperately need. Without proper guidance, attention, and limits, these students are becoming increasingly addicted to their phones, vulgar with their peers, and careless with their actions.
Every person in a community needs to step up to help solve this issue. Parents need to pay close attention to their children to know what their child is going through, teachers need support and to do the best they can at their jobs, students need to hold themselves accountable and help their peers do the same, and community members need to be willing to share and help when called upon. Teachers need to communicate with parents, and parents need to know their child well enough to see when they are struggling. We all want to see Generation A prosper in knowledge, skills, and in life. We all have ways to help accomplish that.
I know what it’s like to be the stressed student, the overwhelmed teacher, and I have seen many stressed parents. I know we are all under a lot of pressure to be better, hustle, pay bills, be extraordinary, but when we focus on the small details when it comes to the upcoming generation, it will take a lot off of our shoulders. Our relationships can be symbiotic; we can help each other thrive. Thank you for reading this far, and please, if you have any perspective or insight on this issue, comment on this blog to be a part of the conversation. This may not be my last post on this topic, so know that there is more to be said and more action to be taken. Do your part where you are, and notice the difference in the people around you.
The Story of Ruth
I love the story of Ruth. The short book in the bible about a heartbreaking story that turned glorious thanks to God is one of my favorites. I love how Ruth loves. If you put yourself in her shoes it would be difficult to do what she did, leaving her life to care for her mother-in-law. Usually, that relationship is strained, but Ruth defies all typical situations in this story.
If you don’t know this story it starts with a famine and Ruth, her husband, Naomi, her other son and daughter-in-law, and Naomi’s husband. All three husbands die and they set out for land the Lord has favored. Naomi told her daughters-in-law that they could now depart to their lands since they were foreigners and their husbands had died. Ruth decided to stay with Naomi, and her loyalty preceded her. In this culture when a woman was without a husband it was challenging for them to survive physically and socially. It would be easier for Ruth to go to her homeland and find a new husband, but family was important to her.
As Ruth stayed with Naomi she would gleam grain behind harvesters so she could find favor with someone. She found favor with Boaz a family redeemer. Naomi then helped Ruth by telling her how to act around Boaz. Boaz thanked her for pursuing him and not other men and commended her kindness. She lay at his feet overnight and he sent her home in the early morning with more barley. Ruth told Naomi about the news and they were very happy. After Boaz saw how good her character was he went to find out if he could redeem them. He found a relative who could redeem her but he could not due to his inheritance. So Boaz was able to redeem Ruth. He was protective of Ruth and treated her very well. He gave her food to take to Naomi to provide for her. Boaz and Ruth married and God blessed them with a son.
At a bible study once they gave us little sheets of paper that said “I want a blank faithfulness like Ruth and a blank faithfulness like Naomi”. I wrote “Unconditional” for Ruth and “Selfless” for Naomi. They loved in a way I wish all people did. I wonder if their harsh situation brought more love and joy into their lives when they realized what truly matters. Adversity often produces resilience.
Ruth’s virtues are ones I strive to have. Loyalty, love, forgiveness, dignity, resilience, care, and cunning. She is a wonderful woman with a meek nature and a strong will. Her willingness to step outside of shame and receive a new reality is inspiring. When she was waiting for God’s goodness to prevail, she was found working hard for her family in the fields. There were plenty of things going through her head about her situation that we never get to know, yet we see how despite any fears she might have she does what she needs to. Her decision to obey, listen, trust God, and be her best self led to her having a family, a son, a family redeemer, and helping Naomi to a better sustained life. Ruth is also part of Jesus’ lineage through their son Obed. Her decision to live a life with the Lord instead of her life back home which could’ve been more comfortable, put her in relation to Jesus, the son of God who died for our sins. What a miracle.
It goes to show that our virtues can change our lives for the better in big ways. Small decisions can lead to big consequences. I am so glad we have such a faithful God that he does not forget the Ruths, Boazs, and Naomis of the world but rather blesses them with abundance and joy. Our God is overflowing with goodness and love, I cannot wait to celebrate this goodness in heaven forever. I hope to have a love like Ruth’s and a faith like Naomi’s. I pray you do too. My question for you today is, who are you gleaming from? When God looks to favor you, will he find you working or complaining? Will you be faithful like Ruth and Naomi?
Like the Proverbs 31 woman, Ruth is feminine, grounded, trusting, diligent, and hard-working. Her reliable personality landed her a brand new life from God. Her hardships helped shape her destiny and provided life to multiple people. Like I said, I love Ruth! Thank God for such an inspiring story about a woman.
I love men
I love being a woman, but that was not always the case. I used to identify myself as pansexual and non-binary. I thought this because after leaving the church at 17, I remembered asking myself questions about my life as a child. At 5 years old, I was asking God why I was here on earth, why I was made a girl when I am so good at getting muddy outside, and why I was placed in Idaho. Those questions slowly are getting answered in my life, but the question about my gender seemed to seep its way into my life as a young adult. The culture was so open to new ideas and loved putting a label of identity on everything and everyone.
I was comfortable in my masculinity because I had to be an adult from such a young age and had little to no masculine role models growing up. So, I became my father to myself. It seems that the younger me forgot how deeply I loved being a girl, the idea of motherhood and caring for a man. Despite the labels I put on myself, I still ended up in feminine scenarios. I would date a man for a while and become his caregiver or his new mother. This happened more than once. Why was it so easy for me to pretend to be manly? Why is it now more normal than ever to identify as masculine or non-binary?
The answer is that we don’t have Jesus. God, through his design of humans and the world, and in his love, made a perfect outline for us to follow. He gave us laws to structure society and rules on how to act ethically. He told us how to love one another through the Old Testament and the New. Jesus came to earth as God and man to show us what ultimate love and sacrifice are. But we so easily neglect such a thing.
Hebrews 2:3 says
“How shall we escape if we ignore so great a salvation? This salvation, which was first announced by the Lord, was confirmed to us by those who heard him.”
So we know, based on our knowledge of God and love for him, that we cannot neglect our salvation, but what about his commands?
Psalms 119:128 says, “And because I consider all your precepts right, I hate every wrong path.”
John 14:15 says, “If you love me, keep my commands.”
The love of God makes us do crazy things. Jesus told us it would divide families and friends. If we love God, the equation assumes that we follow his commands. The Bible lays out how we are supposed to love God and each other. My journey from being non-binary to straight and female is a funny one. Truly, God was chasing me in pursuit while I kept asking him, “Why me?” After I finally gave in and understood God loved me despite my sins, I realized I loved him, too.
Because I started to fall in love with Jesus, God of the universe, I started reading his word and trying to follow all the rules and precepts mentioned. I was hungry for his word and got up early every day to read outside. God had put a new spirit in me and loved me like a father and a friend. My whole life changed once I surrendered my life to Christ. I realized I always wanted a husband and kids. I wanted to live a traditional lifestyle like I had imagined growing up. I loved men and after a harsh breakup, I saw how valuable all men are and how poorly they are treated in this world.
I won’t get into a debate about who is treated worse, because I don’t think that is the whole issue. Let’s go back to the Garden of Eden. Eve ate the fruit after talking with the serpent and getting convinced it was worth the risk to not trust God, and do what he commanded not to do. She ate the fruit first, and my favorite theory about this is that because Adam was there the whole time, and he had a covenant with God he sinned first. Not that who sinned first truly matters, but hear me out. He stood back while the serpent spoke to her, and he never defended Eve or used his masculine role correctly. He had dominion given by God over the creatures of the earth, he named all the animals. So instead of being proactive and defending his wife, he laid back while she got deceived. He knew what God had told them just as well. But, when God made Adam he said it is not good for man to be alone, so he made woman. Both were made in the image of God, one from dust and one from bone. He made women in such a mysterious way but also made them with lots of intelligence and grace. Eve should not have eaten the fruit, but Adam should’ve protected her. Both decisions are in our nature as humans and since then the divide between matter and opinion has only risen.
Currently, in our culture it is normal for women to hate men, even choosing a bear instead in a hypothetical scenario. Women do not feel safe with men, and men are then taught to be afraid to be around a woman out of fear of rejection or accusation. Men are also taught to hate women for being cheaters or greedy. The union God designed between us was perfect when he made it, and the devil knows the power of a relationship with man, woman, and God. Some Christians can see the way satan tries to separate us, because Bibically when a man and woman join, they become one flesh. The benefits of being one flesh with God at the center are many.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
Women and men need each other. We are great in pairs, and better in trios with God. Women need a strong hand to pick up what they can’t, men need a soft touch only women can provide. It’s much easier for a gentle woman to thread a needle than a rough man to. It’s much easier for a man to take out trash that weighs 100 pounds than a woman who barely weighs more than that. These are simplified examples and in no way mean to betray the strength of either man or woman. It just goes to show we need each other and complement one another.
My journey with God has brought me to a better understanding of men. I started seeing a pattern of the fear of rejection, the lack of purpose, the demeaning ways they are talked to, and the ways they are simply ignored. God was changing my heart to be more feminine. The Proverbs 31 woman is not weak because she is feminine. She is strong-willed, strong-hearted, and strong-armed. Being a woman does not equate to weakness, but gentleness and grace. Biblical womanhood is something to be valued, cherished, and cultivated. Our feminine nature calms the man, as well as encourages him to be himself. A masculine man allows a woman to feel comfortable being feminine and safe. That is why we need each other. We can choose to bring out the worst of each other or the best. Our design was made to be paired together with God, and I pray our culture becomes more holy and allows biblical roles to flourish.
Ephesians 5:33 says, “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
I love this verse because not only is God commanding us to love, but He is also showing us how to love each other and how we desire to be loved. Women need to be cherished and loved, it helps them thrive. Men need to be respected, that is how they flourish. The Bible when read and understood, can help every problem subside and become answered. If you wondered how men and women are supposed to work together in the modern world, he lays it out. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us how to love and what love is like. God is love. If we remain in God we remain in love. If we work with God we work with and through love. This issue can be more simple if we let it, and if we surrender to the design God has for us. So I challenge you as a man or woman, to release control over your idea of identity, and give it to God. Let him teach you how to be more of what you were created to be, and trust me you will experience more joy than before. Doing this will also help men and women trust each other. We are all sinners and need God’s help, so there is no need to compare, we only need to trust God in his wonderful will. I pray you go in peace and discover a more gentle and well-rounded version of yourself in the role God made you for.
Giving Good Gifts
When I was 5, giving gifts inspired me the most. My aunt’s comment at Christmas that giving gifts is better than receiving them altered my brain chemistry. Little did she know that this is biblical.
Acts 20:35 says “In every way I have shown you that by hard work of that sort we must help the weak, and keep in mind the words of the Lord Jesus who himself said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
I want to be a person who gives amazing gifts. It’s in my nature. My family is full of great gift-givers, with tightly wrapped bows, thought-filled notes, and personalized trinkets… they love giving well. They think of your gifts months in advance, buying them throughout the year, and collecting them in closets and show boxes. God gives to us like that. He gives with abundance, thought, and will all the love we can accept. God tells us about how he gives to us.
Luke 11:13 says “If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
My political placement is all over the place. I use the Bible to discern morals, and history to decide on all different views. I am not just a one-party person, I am more concerned with justice and an ethical culture. I don’t think that comes with picking one party forever. But one thing I wish our economy would shift to is a gift economy. At least at the local level, to have an abundance of resources and mindset, so when we have enough, we also ensure our neighbors have enough. A recent event I attended made me think of this. Everyone has a little to spare for the ones who have nothing to spare. In fact, in America, there is an overabundance of material resources that we waste a good amount of it in the trash.
Handmade gifts can be some of the best gifts we receive. Nothing says “I love you” like hours spent on heartfelt handmade goods. My community here in Idaho has shown me beautiful gifts including cheese, lotions, soaps, fresh produce, sourdough bread, jams, knit and crochet wear, quilts, sewn gifts, plastic canvas items, cards, and more. It is so wonderful to receive gifts like this that its impact lasts a lifetime. I would cry if I received a crochet gift that took more than an hour to make. That is the lasting love I hope to receive and I know this world has to give. My handmade crochet shop has items perfect for gifts like loofahs, hot pads, hats, and ear warmers that can light up anyone’s day. Shop local, shop clean, shop BusyVandCo! https://556042-3.myshopify.com/
A bit of us already love the idea of a gift economy. We love birthday parties, baby showers, and t-shirts shot at us through cannons at concerts. Humans love gifts. A gift economy is similar to trading and bartering, where a member of a community gives to another without expecting anything in return. The idea is that you grow in love for each other and out of the abundance of love, you give to others as well. This idea can be worked on for our society, since we live in a capitalist nation, it would have a different spin. A good version of this is that every time we end up with extra, we thank God for the abundance and distribute the extra to the community, sowing seeds for the future and from the love God gives us. I hope that at least slowly, we can normalize the idea of giving as a better form of wealth. Considering the wellness of our neighbors is something Jesus told us to do.
Matthew 22:37-39 says “Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”
If we value being cared for, being provided for, and having enough we need to make sure our friends, family, and community members are taken care of too. I hope in 2025 and beyond, instead of being afraid of scarcity we embrace each other, help one another have enough, and share the wealth. Wealth comes in more than one way, and the biggest form of wealth, in my opinion, is the love we hold for one another. I pray Jesus pours his abundant loving Spirit into your heart so that it overflows to everyone around you. Amen.
Seasonal Depression
I have dealt with seasonal depression, also called SAD, since I was 13. It seems each year as the end of Autumn approaches I become more sad, tired, and exhausted by life. I learned the term seasonal depression in health class in 9th grade, my best friend also had been dealing with the same thing. I noticed a big difference the second the snow melted and the sun came out.
I should be better in Idaho since I lived in Oregon for years. Oregon, especially the PNW, is known for rainy weather year-round. When I lived there, I hated the rain. I complained about it frequently and told all my Oregon friends about how Idaho only has rain in the spring and winter like a normal state would. Oregon made up for the rainy weather with beautiful nature and forests all around the best cities they have. Occasionally you’ll find a town in Oregon that is just concrete, and those places I can’t stay long. I was made for the mountains and trees. My seasonal depression there was bad, but not horrible since it stayed just about the same most of the year. I also had a tight community, food stamps, sunshine, and a busy enough schedule to distract me from the rain. Turns out, that now that I am away from the wet weather, I love and miss it. When it rains I take it in deep and pretend I’m back where I used to be.
In a way, maybe it’s a good thing I get depressed because of the dark. Maybe that says something about me, maybe my assumption is over-spiritualized, but I don’t do well with darkness. I need the sunlight to feel alive. I am trying not to say it anymore, but my finding is that every year my seasonal depression gets worse. Because life and death are in the power of the tongue…
Proverbs 18:21 “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
…I am trying to do my best to not curse myself with more seasonal depression. I know the power of the blood of Jesus will overcome this struggle.
In a way, this is the thorn in my flesh like Paul describes in his letters. I am happy just about all year until the sky grows gloomy and the ground is frozen in white snow. I take Vitamin D to try and relieve the symptoms, but it does no good compared to time spent in the sun. It gives me time to rest in Jesus and read, sleep, work, and prepare. It is a time of hibernation and sleep. I may be a Christian, but I am nowhere near perfect. I don’t have a great way to cope with this, I just trust Jesus will take it away from me in his perfect timing. Reading my Bible brings me hope, and community meet-ups help, having several things to attend to throughout the week. Without community, my days would drag on in darkness so much more than they do. Thank God I live with family so I have people to talk to on the bad days.
When I do pray and am brave enough to tell Jesus my problems, I do have this renewing of hope and energy. He grants me this new life I get to have in him when I trust him with it. I don’t do this enough, so if you struggle and are reading this, let it be a reminder that carrying that burden yourself will only drain your energy when our God tells us to give us our burdens. He will give us rest if we accept it. Winter does not have to be as productive as the rest of the year. Everything is frozen, roads suck, seasonal depression is high and motivation is low. We are not machines and do not need to constantly add to this society of overconsumption and overworking. We only need to be vessels for God’s light and goodness, allowing his will to be done in our lives.
Winter is in God’s divine will. He makes every snowflake fall at his hand, so I don’t desire to despise his word and will. This verse gives me comfort
Isaiah 55:10 “Yet just as from the heavens the rain and snow come down and do not return there till they have watered the earth, making it fertile and fruitful, giving seed to the one who sows and bread to the one who eats.”
Maybe the lesson the Lord wants to teach me through this is that through patience and watering, he will cause me to sprout. His will is good. I read the book of Job this January and over and over it is confirmed, God knows best and more than us, we need to trust he knows what he is doing.
I hope this snow doesn’t make you cry this winter, and if it does I hope it waters your flowers or your garden. Jesus loves you and has a wonderful plan for you, I only hope you trust in him long enough to see his goodness come to fruition.
Make the best of your situation. If you love knitting or crochet, do it. If you love reading, make time for it. If you are a writer, start writing even if it leads you nowhere. Create and love, be who you are because you are made beautifully in the image of God. Let yourself be real and loved.
Thank you, Lord for the winter, thank you for the snow that I despise. It’s not about me, the picture is bigger than my perception. Bring more people to you through your word and my blog, and give them a hope and a future you promise us in Jeremiah 29. Amen!
10 Easy Habits to be more Holy
The easiest ways to stay holy are the simple habits we do every day—or should. Here is a comprehensive list of small, easy tasks for being a Proverbs 31 woman.
- Make your bed
Making the bed every morning after getting ready for the day can make a big impact on the day. It is an easy reset that keeps the clutter out of the room and mind.
- Pray on your knees
Praying is incredibly important, leaning on God is what will get us through this life. Praying in submission to God puts us where we belong and reminds us that we petition God. You can pray your normal morning prayer, a written prayer, a casual prayer, or the Our Father. God wants to hear from you and know you better. Watch your posture to God change when you pray on your knees.
- Read multiple chapters of the Bible daily
In my first year back with Christ, I read a minimum of one chapter a day. A baby Christian can benefit from simplicity and gradual growth, but seasoned Christians are more than able to read more and soak up the word of God. Increasing how much you read can edify your spirit, bring you closer to God, and ensure you read the whole Bible in time.
- Pray for friends and family
A good friend prays for her friends and family. If you are in Jesus and practice righteousness it is so good for you to pray for others. It can change their lives more than you know. As she provides for her husband, kids, and servants, a modern biblical woman should utilize our direct line to God through Jesus.
- Be in your community
I have noticed my days get increasingly better when I spend more than one day at church. On Tuesdays, Wednesdays, or any day, it can lift the spirit and mind to spend more time in fellowship with others. Helping at a soup kitchen, church, or friends can make a big difference in your week and others’.
- Journal or write about your experiences with God
An easy way to remember to have faith in God is by writing down your experiences and conversations with him. This creates a time to be intimate with God and provides a way to look back on your walk to help you in the future.
- Surround yourself with Biblical art
If you are a visual person like me, you like to have art surround you and have visual reminders of truths you hold dear. Biblical art from small artists can cover your walls to remind you of God’s goodness and creativity he gave us in this world. Even just pictures of nature or Bible verses can help to make each day more about Jesus.
- Love working and moving your body daily
When you fall in love with God you also find respect for your body, the thing he calls a temple. We are called to be a living sacrifice, and moving our bodies is quite literally a burnt fat offering to God. All our work can be worship if we position ourselves towards God and give ourselves to him.
- Have a consistent or healthy sleep schedule
A Proverbs 31 woman gets up early and stays up late working. And we do the majority of our healing while we sleep, so there needs to be balance. As an adult sleeping seems to get harder and harder, but more enjoyable by the day. Creating a schedule that works for your life, habits, and work schedule can save you a lot of energy and stress. For me, I get chores done easier in the morning, have fun and exercise better in the afternoon, and do computer business work in the evening. Creating a time to work, rest, and reset can ease your mind, especially when you know what works best for you. It is not a one-size-fits-all all, and women do not work at the same circadian rhythm as men do. Remember you are not a machine.
- Strength and kindness
God gives us everything we need to survive this world, and without him we are nothing. We must depend on God and renew our strength in him. That also means being kind, praying for our enemies, and doing the diligent thing even when it is inconvenient. A proverbs 31 woman is strong, diligent, dependable, and dependent on God. I hope we all strive to be more like that every single day.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
Proverbs 31:25
What Happened to Me When I Took Magic Mushrooms
I was 19 when I started micro-dosing psychedelic mushrooms with my ex-boyfriend. We would take turns, go on walks, and describe our experiences to each other. Micro-dosing brought a lot of good feelings, often very subtle changes like a more open mind, realizing the interconnectedness of life, and appreciation of nature. At the time I was a pagan practicing witchcraft. That being said, these types of experiences were not foreign to me. I was always looking to find answers in nature and indulging in my flesh.
Previous to this, when I was 17 I had left the Christian church for various reasons, one being the disconnect I had with God, the bad treatment of scripture in church and the lack of love from its members. I did not realize at the time I was blaming God for what his children had done.
One night I accidently took much more than a micro-dose. We didn’t have a scale yet and we were eating mushrooms with pizza. When I thought I was taking maybe about 1 gram, I took about 4.5 grams. That is just about a macro dose, especially for a 5’4 girl who has never eaten that much mushroom before. I slowly started falling asleep and woke up to a vision.
When I woke up I looked down to the carpet and saw fractal marching men all walking together. I started laughing to myself because it made so much sense, men marching on carpets that men march on. It was so funny to me that the carpet would be made up of what it is used for and by. It is still funny to my brain today. I looked in the mirror, something people tell you never to do on mushrooms, and my face was the moon, but my face. I looked so sad and I still don’t know how to describe it. When I went back to lie down on my bed, the light from the sun slowly started casting through my window onto the ceiling. I started to see how the light itself shifted into a presence, it was quite peaceful and I felt very comfortable with him there.
Shapes started appearing, I saw angels appear around clouds, below them apostles, below them disciples, below them my family and friends in heaven. I recognized all of them and they all were smiling down at me. I started to feel so much love, it was pouring out of the light. I felt tangible unconditional, eternal love start pouring into me. I started smiling, giggling, and laughing at this beautiful feeling. It felt like being in love. It was an effortless feeling like I was floating in space. As I realized it, God started speaking to me internally without words, but through understanding and wisdom. He started telling me things I don’t remember, but I do remember feeling so happy and loved. I knew God was standing above me, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and The Father. I knew right there he was three in one. He was eternally all three at once, and all three separately. It was a profound feeling even while I lay there in the most open and understanding place of my life.
The best part was feeling God’s love pour into me. It was a fatherly love I had never had, a brotherly love I needed, and a comforting love I could rest in. I felt worthy despite my sin and shame. I felt loved despite being in a relationship with a man who didn’t love me. Many times I go back to that place mentally, hoping to remember that feeling of love. It is worth more than anything in this world. It is what heaven may feel like. It is worth a whole life of obedience to grasp even for a moment.
The vision itself was exciting. Now looking back I would never do drugs like that again. Not because I didn’t enjoy them, but because it is an illegal way to reach spiritual realms and it is a very easy way for the enemy to attack and lie. Prayer and fasting are a much better and Biblical way to reach God and hear his voice more clearly. A free source for that would also be reading the Bible. One important part of this vision was that after all I saw, heard, felt, and experienced I still did not believe in Jesus. Seeing is not believing. Although through taking mushrooms I was open to more spiritual truth, I did not understand that Jesus is God, and what I saw WAS truth! How insane that I had this crazy experience but it was months later I finally saw God for who he is, as much as I could. It took months of God convincing me he is real, the God of the Christian bible is real. How graceful is God for giving me chance after chance to see him in his true light. He gave me time and proof that he is real. God is such a gentleman, pursuing me with patience and vigor, never giving up on his bride. I only hope to have a faithful love like his.
Mushrooms in a way made me see God, but it was God himself, putting his manifest presence into my sinfulness that got me to love and believe in him. He is the most kind, most caring, most loving being to ever exist. How wonderful that the God of the universe cares for someone as small as me. God reaches to us in our darkness and pulls us out without blemishing his own light. He alone is Holy, Holy, Holy. He alone is good. God alone is faithful and true. I am so blessed and thankful to have a God so good that he would appear to me while I did such a stupid thing like drugs. Thank you Jesus, thank you Lord.
Sovereignty of God
I am learning about a beautiful characteristic of God, sovereignty. The word itself feels like it needs to be capitalized, it is so bold, big, and strong. Living a childhood with a distant father, it has become such a blessing to see and feel my father in heaven truly sees me and takes care of every detail. He made me and within me is him, and within him is my identity. He is mine and I am his. But this is not about me, this is about God.
God is everywhere at once, he comes when we cry out to him, and rests upon those he loves when they worship him. When we revere The Great Living God, The God of Israel, The Lord of Armies, Yahweh, Yeshua, our soul shifts. His truth is the truth. No matter what storm rattles the doors from outside, he stands strong. At Bible study this week, Philippians 4:6 was mentioned. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” God has his hand on us, his hand is on everything.
How sovereign of God. To fix his eyes on us while we sin against him. To take our burdens when they pile on our chests and shoulders. To hear us when we barely listen to him. His emotions don’t get the better of him, he doesn’t give up when he realizes he is doing the group project all by himself. He is bigger and better than our every effort. It is funny how hard we try sometimes. God has got us. He sees us, every part of our mind, every inch of our hearts, he sees our situations at work and with friends and he is in every room we are not in.
Stop here, and breathe. God has got this under control.
He humbles the proud and exalts the lowly. He weaves his perfect will in every area we open to him, he takes our seeds of obedience and plants a garden as big as Eden. He is sovereign, he is the only God. And only through Jesus Christ and his perfect holy sacrifice we can now live the life he gave up for us. What a good, good, good, friend. After we yelled at him, forgot him, lied to him, blasphemed him, he picked up that cross, and died on calvary for us. He loves us over and over and over again. How can we neglect such love? God didn’t need us, yet out of his loving heart he created a family to share love, creativity and community with.
I had a crazy spiritual walk this and last year 2023-2024. I went from claiming the title of pagan witch and going through multiple spiritual awakenings, did psychedelic mushrooms, and got reintroduced to God. I have been through much spiritual warfare, have just about read the whole Bible and completely turned my life upside down to follow God. I almost got kidnapped twice, was utterly hopeless, broke up with a boyfriend and lost a whole life I thought I loved. One thing I saw right away as I found God again was that his hand was on me the whole time. He made sure I was safe when I put myself into bad situations, he stopped me from getting kidnapped twice and loved me when I didn’t know who he was. God is sovereign. I realized through walking with Jesus, that he is a God of details, he cares about the small things. He cares about things you hold near to your heart and he cares about making things just. He is so so good.
Psalm 46:10 “He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.””
God tells me this exactly when I need to hear it. Sometimes it is when I am running around like crazy trying to do everything myself, when I feel alone, when I don’t know where to turn. I think regardless of where we are in life, it is so important to remember God has a plan and will continue it despite what we are capable of, and how small our faith may seem. Always obey him and the Holy Spirit’s guidance in your life, develop your relationship with God and lay your burdens down to him.
Matthew 11:28-30 “ Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
I find the only rest I can actually have, is rest in the Lord. I cannot rest the same with a mindset that I can rest by myself, but when I trust in Jesus to give me the rest he promised me, I get the best rest possible.
God is powerful above all things. There is nothing we can do to take power away from God. There is nothing on this earth that can compete with the love of God. His hand will always prevail, his plans are good and higher, and his will be done. We desperately need him. God restores us in ways we could never do ourselves. I am thankful for that.
Romans 8:38-39 “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
I want to bring you hope, that in every trial, every argument, every battle, God is sovereign and he will provide, he will prosper. God loves his children and he loves taking care of us. Let yourself be taken care of and fall into the arms of your loving Father. No matter where you are, if you have run away, if the church has hurt you and you can’t look back on the pain, God is waiting for you with open arms. Come back to him. I hope you learn more about the sovereignty of God and trust him to order your steps.
Ways we unknowingly practice witchcraft: How to stop it
Ways we unknowingly practice witchcraft: How to stop it
As a believer in Jesus Christ and a former pagan witch, it is my responsibility to inform people about the ways in which witchcraft and paganism have kept ways hidden in plain sight, to spot out the cultural habits we practice that are simply wrong for any Christian to be doing. This will convict people, but Jesus says
“Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 16:24-25
The reason I really felt the need to share this is to help other women and men in Christ to be renewed in their minds, but also because when I was a pagan witch, I took pride in the many small daily habits and rituals that were founded in paganism and wicca practices. Because of that and now coming to know Christ, it has become abundantly clear other Christians do not have a clue about these things, and I want to shed light on it.
- Knock on wood
Yes, many people can argue about how this phrase and ritual came about, but there is no refuting that it has been used in pagan circles for many years now. I will just tell you the truth. Wood will not save you. A small ritual that depends on knocking on wood for “good luck” will not help you, especially in your Christian walk. When I was a witch, these superstitions were another ritual to give a sense of pride, to have some safe or lucky word or ritual to disperse fear, when in reality it only expands it further. The only wood that will save you is the fact that Jesus died on a cross, and the wood didn’t do the hard work it took to gain our salvation, Jesus did.
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
My recommendation is to stop trusting in silly superstitions and proclaim the truth of Christ and his promises over your life, do not give in to the spirit of fear any longer.
- Celebrating Halloween
Ah yes, I am the party pooper. But this is coming from an ex-witch. Do not celebrate Halloween. I am speaking to Christians, we are to submit ourselves to Christ, not to the world. Halloween has obvious pagan roots, portrays many kinds of evils, desensitizes us to things like demons and spirits, and speaking with the dead. This holiday may have some Catholic roots, but that does not erase the wiccan history it holds. Many rituals are common practice during halloween. If the ghost and demon face paint isn’t enough to turn you away as a Christian (symbols are very important in spirituality) then maybe the thought of partaking in a holiday that uplifts divination, necromancy and casting curses should. There are witches that go around during Halloween, casting curses on houses, bloodlines, Christians, and all sorts of innocent people all because of demonic and satanic influence. When I wasn’t a Christian, I loved Halloween. It was filled with lust, passion, alcohol, outfits that show far too much skin, and darkness. And I was a witch doing “light magic” , a magic considered to be good and done with righteous intentions, yet I was still in wickedness and others were willingly doing worse things than me. There are depths to this darkness and it is not something we as Christians can play with. If you struggle with this idol, please take it to Jesus and ask him to speak with you about it, he loves you so much and wants the best for you. This is not to condemn you, but to warn you of the dangers I was closely associated with in the past. If you need something to celebrate, finding Biblical traditions, feast days and holidays is becoming more popular and I find to be much more respectful to God.
- Saying “Bless you” after you sneeze
The Lord has asked me to write about this instance, and has pointed out it is a superstitious act, one started because of the false belief that when one sneezed, their soul would leave their body. Since that is not true and we can hold firm to our trust and belief in God, there is no reason to say it especially in the manner we do. If you would rather like to pray for someone, that is a better alternative. This was not one I was expecting, but I obey the Lord first and foremost. We do not need to say “Bless you” in order to protect from evil spirits, but we do need to pray.
These are just a few examples and there are many more. I will write about them in the future. For now, keep an eye out and let God transform you by the renewing of your mind. (Romans 12:2)
It is important that in this Chrstian walk, we put Jesus and our love for him above all things. Otherwise those other things become strongholds and idols. Our God is a jealous God, one who needs our undivided attention. This blog is not made to condemn people ,but to open the eyes that have once been blind, to educate God’s children on the ways our culture desensitizes us to witchcraft. We have to be of sober mind, have ears to hear and eyes to see. We need to educate ourselves on things of light and darkness, for ourselves and the ones we love. It is too easy in this modern world for demons and evil spirits to convince us these little sayings and rituals are harmless, but the closer you get to God, the more you will hate the things he hates, and see life as he sees it. The biggest illusion is that satan and demons are not real– they are in your Bible and I promise you, they are real.
In order to stop these habits we need to give ourselves grace and realize the reason we change our habits in the first place. Remind yourself daily who you are in Christ, a child of God, an heir to The Most High King, a conqueror, beautifully and wonderfully made. Remind yourself that God is more important, and have a relationship with God that is so close, he reveals these convictions to you before someone else does. I pray God is with you and protects you all the days of your life, amen.
Homesteading Honey 