Tag: god

  • It takes a village

    I have learned how important motherhood is in our world, God made them for very important work. And it takes a lot of work to do what moms do. In order to help mothers around me with my business I made a survey to ask mothers questions about their lives. I hope to cater to their needs and get to know my audience better. If you love homestead life, are a mother or want to be one, have a farm, or like to buy from my business I invite you to fill out this survey just once so I can meet your needs better.

    https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfGX9srruKq1K3dPfOjKFl93ufW2I2eHMratc12NL1qdU9-PQ/viewform?usp=sf_link

  • Sovereignty of God

    I am learning about a beautiful characteristic of God, sovereignty. The word itself feels like it needs to be capitalized, it is so bold, big, and strong. Living a childhood with a distant father, it has become such a blessing to see and feel my father in heaven truly sees me and takes care of every detail. He made me and within me is him, and within him is my identity. He is mine and I am his. But this is not about me, this is about God.

    God is everywhere at once, he comes when we cry out to him, and rests upon those he loves when they worship him. When we revere The Great Living God, The God of Israel, The Lord of Armies, Yahweh, Yeshua, our soul shifts. His truth is the truth. No matter what storm rattles the doors from outside, he stands strong. At Bible study this week, Philippians 4:6 was mentioned. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” God has his hand on us, his hand is on everything. 

    How sovereign of God. To fix his eyes on us while we sin against him. To take our burdens when they pile on our chests and shoulders. To hear us when we barely listen to him. His emotions don’t get the better of him, he doesn’t give up when he realizes he is doing the group project all by himself. He is bigger and better than our every effort. It is funny how hard we try sometimes. God has got us. He sees us, every part of our mind, every inch of our hearts, he sees our situations at work and with friends and he is in every room we are not in. 

    Stop here, and breathe. God has got this under control.

    He humbles the proud and exalts the lowly. He weaves his perfect will in every area we open to him, he takes our seeds of obedience and plants a garden as big as Eden. He is sovereign, he is the only God. And only through Jesus Christ and his perfect holy sacrifice we can now live the life he gave up for us. What a good, good, good, friend. After we yelled at him, forgot him, lied to him, blasphemed him, he picked up that cross, and died on calvary for us. He loves us over and over and over again. How can we neglect such love? God didn’t need us, yet out of his loving heart he created a family to share love, creativity and community with. 

    I had a crazy spiritual walk this and last year 2023-2024. I went from claiming the title of pagan witch and going through multiple spiritual awakenings, did psychedelic mushrooms, and got reintroduced to God. I have been through much spiritual warfare, have just about read the whole Bible and completely turned my life upside down to follow God. I almost got kidnapped twice, was utterly hopeless, broke up with a boyfriend and lost a whole life I thought I loved. One thing I saw right away as I found God again was that his hand was on me the whole time. He made sure I was safe when I put myself into bad situations, he stopped me from getting kidnapped twice and loved me when I didn’t know who he was. God is sovereign. I realized through walking with Jesus, that he is a God of details, he cares about the small things. He cares about things you hold near to your heart and he cares about making things just. He is so so good. 

    Psalm 46:10 “He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;

        I will be exalted among the nations,

        I will be exalted in the earth.””

    God tells me this exactly when I need to hear it. Sometimes it is when I am running around like crazy trying to do everything myself, when I feel alone, when I don’t know where to turn. I think regardless of where we are in life, it is so important to remember God has a plan and will continue it despite what we are capable of, and how small our faith may seem. Always obey him and the Holy Spirit’s guidance in your life, develop your relationship with God and lay your burdens down to him. 

    Matthew 11:28-30 “ Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

    I find the only rest I can actually have, is rest in the Lord. I cannot rest the same with a mindset that I can rest by myself, but when I trust in Jesus to give me the rest he promised me, I get the best rest possible. 

    God is powerful above all things. There is nothing we can do to take power away from God. There is nothing on this earth that can compete with the love of God. His hand will always prevail, his plans are good and higher, and his will be done. We desperately need him. God restores us in ways we could never do ourselves. I am thankful for that. 

    Romans 8:38-39  “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

    I want to bring you hope, that in every trial, every argument, every battle, God is sovereign and he will provide, he will prosper. God loves his children and he loves taking care of us. Let yourself be taken care of and fall into the arms of your loving Father. No matter where you are, if you have run away, if the church has hurt you and you can’t look back on the pain, God is waiting for you with open arms. Come back to him. I hope you learn more about the sovereignty of God and trust him to order your steps.

  • Prep Advice

    “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but the power of love and a sound mind.“

    2 Timothy 1:7

    I have been acquiring lists for prepping, to prepare for the worst, but not in fear.

    I once heard a prophet say ” Everything you prepare in fear will not be enough” when reciting a dream they had from God. Fear cannot be what guides us in this world as Christians, because Jesus already won the battle! He already conquered death. We have a savior who paid it all. Do not be afraid of an enemy who just wants to make you as miserable as he is. The adversary already knows his end, but God is still letting you write your story with him, and hopefully, you’re letting God’s will reign in your life. Pray before you read this and ask God to lead you, and as always test every spirit.

    For prepping or simply camping, my first piece of advice is to not burn green. Fresh green wood will create a thick smoke in a fire that will bring unwanted attention to you. It also burns in a way you will not like, treated dry wood that is not rotten or wet is your best bet. You do not want to create random smoke signals. You cannot assume everyone has good intentions in bad situations. If people are living in survival mode it is best to keep you and your family safe. As well as not burning green, it is imperative to limit artificial light, or light that comes from technology, fires, and vehicles at night.

    It is important in more than just prepping, in life in general, to be picky about your friends. Have a group of people you trust, but keep in mind how the Bible tells us to have friends.

    “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. ” Proverbs 18:24

    “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.” Proverbs 22:24-25

    “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17

    “”Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Proverbs 13:20

    As a Christian, in hard times it is not really an option to depend on ourselves. We have to be like David when he was struggling with adversity, praying continuously with a repentant heart, and faith big enough to kill a giant. Faith and wisdom are going to be a new currency in a time where we cannot depend on convenience and technology.

    A community of people who will uplift each other and share blessings will significantly improve mental health and wellness among you and family. Humans are social creatures and studies have shown that people who have others to support them socially, problems that are big seem smaller in perspective. This can just be you rfamily, or a small group of friends. Rely on good news, and remember the great things God has done for you.

    If you have ever read Lord of the flies, you know people need order, leadership and rules. In a larger community voting, authority, compromise, and adaptation will help everything run smoothly with less conflict. Choosing a leader should come with prayer, fasting, and a vote to see who is ready to lead, and who is intelligent enough to bring others to success. This comes with mutual respect to sustain a growing and thriving community.

    A trading system will become more and more popular as prices in stores rise, and especially if society is not as connected as it is now. Things to keep in mind is that everything has value. If we treat everything with a materialistic mindset, we will put our minds in the landfill like the tons of trash we leave there too. Human labor is so valuable to me. Someone willing to put in effort for something they care about means so much to me, so I really respect one’s labor. Trading can come from tangible items as well as services and food.

    Everyone should have at least one skill that can support them and their family. Things like running machinery, foraging for food, crochet, knitting, embroidery, vehicle repair, cooking, finding shelter, building, leading community, organizing… There are so many skills anyone can learn to help them and their family, and you can always learn more. This work is not futile, you can do this alone or with a community, but most importantly with God. In my book, we take care of eachother, and we help those we trust. Selfish ambition has no space in times like this. Isolation can cause more harm than good, but always discern the times and situations, because there are times where isolation can actually be safer.

    Remember, do not fear, trust in God, and do what is best for your family. I hope this helped you get an idea of things we can prep without spending money, but things we should prep with our minds and community. Thank you for reading, and send a contact message if you have any prep advice or questions!

    Sources cited

    7 Types of Wood you Shouldn’t Burn in your Fireplace

    Cutting Edge Firewood

    https://www.cuttingedgefirewood.com/blogs/blog/7-types-of-wood-you-shouldnt-burn-in-your-fireplace

  • Ways we unknowingly practice witchcraft: How to stop it

    Ways we unknowingly practice witchcraft: How to stop it

    As a believer in Jesus Christ and a former pagan witch, it is my responsibility to inform people about the ways in which witchcraft and paganism have kept ways hidden in plain sight, to spot out the cultural habits we practice that are simply wrong for any Christian to be doing. This will convict people, but Jesus says

    “Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 16:24-25

    The reason I really felt the need to share this is to help other women and men in Christ to be renewed in their minds, but also because when I was a pagan witch, I took pride in the many small daily habits and rituals that were founded in paganism and wicca practices. Because of that and now coming to know Christ, it has become abundantly clear other Christians do not have a clue about these things, and I want to shed light on it.

    1. Knock on wood

    Yes, many people can argue about how this phrase and ritual came about, but there is no refuting that it has been used in pagan circles for many years now. I will just tell you the truth. Wood will not save you. A small ritual that depends on knocking on wood for “good luck” will not help you, especially in your Christian walk. When I was a witch, these superstitions were another ritual to give a sense of pride, to have some safe or lucky word or ritual to disperse fear, when in reality it only expands it further. The only wood that will save you is the fact that Jesus died on a cross, and the wood didn’t do the hard work it took to gain our salvation, Jesus did. 

    Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

    My recommendation is to stop trusting in silly superstitions and proclaim the truth of Christ and his promises over your life, do not give in to the spirit of fear any longer. 

    1.  Celebrating Halloween

    Ah yes, I am the party pooper. But this is coming from an ex-witch. Do not celebrate Halloween. I am speaking to Christians, we are to submit ourselves to Christ, not to the world. Halloween has obvious pagan roots, portrays many kinds of evils, desensitizes us to things like demons and spirits, and speaking with the dead. This holiday may have some Catholic roots, but that does not erase the wiccan history it holds. Many rituals are common practice during halloween. If the ghost and demon face paint isn’t enough to turn you away as a Christian (symbols are very important in spirituality) then maybe the thought of partaking in a holiday that uplifts divination, necromancy and casting curses should. There are witches that go around during Halloween, casting curses on houses, bloodlines, Christians, and all sorts of innocent people all because of demonic and satanic influence. When I wasn’t a Christian, I loved Halloween. It was filled with lust, passion, alcohol, outfits that show far too much skin, and darkness. And I was a witch doing “light magic” , a magic considered to be good and done with righteous intentions, yet I was still in wickedness and others were willingly doing worse things than me. There are depths to this darkness and it is not something we as Christians can play with. If you struggle with this idol, please take it to Jesus and ask him to speak with you about it, he loves you so much and wants the best for you. This is not to condemn you, but to warn you of the dangers I was closely associated with in the past. If you need something to celebrate, finding Biblical traditions, feast days and holidays is becoming more popular and I find to be much more respectful to God. 

    1. Saying “Bless you” after you sneeze

    The Lord has asked me to write about this instance, and has pointed out it is a superstitious act, one started because of the false belief that when one sneezed, their soul would leave their body. Since that is not true and we can hold firm to our trust and belief in God, there is no reason to say it especially in the manner we do. If you would rather like to pray for someone, that is a better alternative. This was not one I was expecting, but I obey the Lord first and foremost. We do not need to say “Bless you” in order to protect from evil spirits, but we do need to pray. 

    These are just a few examples and there are many more. I will write about them in the future. For now, keep an eye out and let God transform you by the renewing of your mind. (Romans 12:2)

    It is important that in this Chrstian walk, we put Jesus and our love for him above all things. Otherwise those other things become strongholds and idols. Our God is a jealous God, one who needs our undivided attention. This blog is not made to condemn people ,but to open the eyes that have once been blind, to educate God’s children on the ways our culture desensitizes us to witchcraft. We have to be of sober mind, have ears to hear and eyes to see. We need to educate ourselves on things of light and darkness, for ourselves and the ones we love. It is too easy in this modern world for demons and evil spirits to convince us these little sayings and rituals are harmless, but the closer you get to God, the more you will hate the things he hates, and see life as he sees it. The biggest illusion is that satan and demons are not real– they are in your Bible and I promise you, they are real.

    In order to stop these habits we need to give ourselves grace and realize the reason we change our habits in the first place. Remind yourself daily who you are in Christ, a child of God, an heir to The Most High King, a conqueror, beautifully and wonderfully made. Remind yourself that God is more important, and have a relationship with God that is so close, he reveals these convictions to you before someone else does. I pray God is with you and protects you all the days of your life, amen. 

  • A Homemaker’s Prep List

    The times are uncertain, but God reigns through it all. I have been called to share and help others prepare essentials for their homes, especially those I can only reach through the internet. This list is for those who want to prepare, homestead, be a smart homemaker and who want more stability in their pantry and homes. Let God guide you through this and in every decision you make. Let the foundation of your home be built on your faith in God, The Rock of Salvation. Here is a prep list for all things to come, economic collapse, natural disaster, floods and fires.

    1. The most important thing you can have is your Bible.

    “For man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” Matthew 4:4

    ““Jesus said “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me.”” Matthew 14:6

    “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” Matthew 10:28

    Our lives mean nothing without Christ. As important as food, water and shelter are, God and our relationship with him is most important. This is number one on the list not because I want you to abandon your life for a book, but to always put Christ first and realize without God we can do nothing. When you get close to God, you realize how that is the most important thing, and the Bible lets us hear directly from God. It is such a beautiful thing and I would never want to live without it.

    1. Water, and knowing how to acquire it

    Water will keep you alive, keep you clean, make and cook food, and as we all know, water is essential for life. 

    “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’” John 7:37-38

    When even God compares water to himself, we see another example of the importance of water. Not only that, but clean water is imperative for good hygiene and health. Bacteria and microbes that do not belong in the body can be found in dirty water causing various sicknesses or death. Filtering water is important and there are several ways to do it. My favorite way of filtering water through a shirt or cheese cloth, and boiling for 8-10 minutes. This kills bacteria, gives you clean water and is a system that is available in many circumstances. 

    Your elevation also plays a part, so here is a chart for you to know how to boil water where you live. 

    Elevation                                                                     Temperature

    0ft212 deg F or 100 d C
    1500ft209 d F
    3000ft206 d F
    5000ft202 d F
    7500ft198 d F
    9000ft195 d F
    10,000ft193 d F or 89.5 d C
    1. Carbs 

    “ Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”” John 6:35

    Carbohydrates are a great, easy, and simple staple to keep our bodies going and provide our bodies with energy. Yes, every diet in the modern world will say carbs are bad for you, but I say whole grains, homemade bread and barley will make you feel 10x better than any protein drink or bar will. Jesus says he is the bread of life, and bread in the Bible is mentioned many times when speaking of healing. Daniel, when doing a diet not eating the king’s food, depended on whole grains and vegetables. The less processed your food, the harder your body will have to work to burn it off, rather than acquiring fat cells you cannot burn off. 

    Important foods to stock up on: 

    1. Flour
    2. Rice
    3. Oats
    4. Barley
    5. Lentils
    6. Quinoa
    7. Yeast to make bread

    These staples are easy to store, last a long time and can sustain a family with the many types of foods it can be made into. 

    4. Canned and Dried foods

    These are foods you can store easily in small spaces and they will last a long time. 

    1. Dried milk, butter, buttermilk, etc
    2. Vegetables and fruits 
    3. Tomatoes
    4. Corn 
    5. Spinach
    6. Beans
    7. Sweet potatoes
    8. Mixed veggies
    9. Peas 
    10. Green beans
    11. Carrots
    12. Apples
    13. Pears
    14. Peaches

    4. Herbs

    One thing you will miss if things get hard, is flavor to your food. Herbs can add needed taste and help in many health issues. 

    1. Basil
    2. Thyme 
    3. Sage 
    4. Parsley 
    5. Pickling spice 
    6. Nutmeg
    7. Oregano 
    8. Italian Seasoning 
    9. Other spices like cinnamon, turmeric, cumin, ginger, cardamon, and your favorites are best to stock up on if you’re able 

    5. Honey

    Honey has so many benefits. It can sweeten almost any food or drink, be used as topical and in herbal medicine, helps with allergies if you use locally sourced honey and does not expire! There is not much to say to convince someone to buy more honey… It’s honey. 🙂 

    6. Something we don’t always see as valuable is salt! It can be used for food, boiling water, making saline water, salt water for teeth care, fertilizer and preserving foods! Don’t forget about salt! 

    7. First aid kit

    1. Tourniquet 
    2. Bandages
    3. Wipes 
    4. Ointment
    5. Swabs
    6. Gauze
    7. Sling
    8. Personal medications and vitamins 

    8. Seeds

    Do not depend on your grocery stores to feed you. There will come a time they will turn their backs, become empty and run out of food. You need to be able to grow food for yourself, your family and possibly your community. Stock on seeds like beans, lettuce, herbs, potatoes and even fruit trees if you want! 

    9. Sewing kit 

    If you are depending on yourself, it is time to learn how to sew. We cannot ask Shein and Amazon to make all our clothes forever, sometimes it is best to just repair the clothes you have, create new pieces from old clothing, and make clothes yourself. A sewing kit will be very handy to have. 

    10. White Vinegar/Apple Cider Vineager  

    11. Pure ethanol alcohol high proof

    12. Baking Soda

    13. Corn Starch 

    14. Sugar

    15. Pure Vanilla Extract

    16. Castor Oil

    17. You won’t need this if you have a food vacuum seal, but this is a great alternative. Ziplock and a straw works just as well.

    18. Can opener

    19. Go bag

    It is important to have some essentials, clothes, food and first aid all in one bag ready to go in case of emergency. This is something you can also store in a car assuming you will be able to use it to get where you need to go. You know yourself and your household best, so pack accordingly. 

    20. Gasoline

    21. Generator 

    22. Zip Ties- multiple sizes

    23. Duct tape

    24. Wire brushes

    25. Cord and rope

    26. Rubber and latex gloves

    27. Map of your local area/state

    28. Knife, hatchet, bat, self defense tools

    29. Solar Panels

    30. Fire starter kit

    31. Tools and bucket, especially for fires

    32. Acetone

    33. Essential oils

    Some dried foods that would be helpful to have: 

    Potatoes

    Carrots

    Strawberries

    Mangoes 

    Spinach 

    Banana 

    Mushrooms like lions mane, chicken of the woods, turkey tail, shitake, maitake and your favorites

    Medicines that would be helpful to have: 

    Vitamin C found in oranges

    Vitamin D or get sunshine

    B12 or fish 

    Fishoil

    Magnesium

    Calcium

    Vitamin E 

    Acid Reducer

    Acetaminophen

    Allergy Relief

    Multivitamins

    Insulin 

    This can seem like a large, daunting list, but this is your chance to look at your home, assess and decide what is best for your family. Pray and discern and see what you truly need in your home to prepare for the future. Remember, this doesn’t always have to be about the end of the world, but about providing for your family and creating a place where life can happen. Do not give up, trust in God and know you have already won through the blood of Jesus. 

    “No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the LORD.” Isaiah 54:17

  • My Testimony

    Hi, I am Vanessa and I grew up Christian in Idaho. I was young when I first accepted Jesus, as my savior at 7 years old when it made sense to me, and baptized at 9 when I knew I wanted to live my life for Jesus, and he became my Lord at 13 when I gave him my life at a youth conference. I went to church a lot growing up, but with divorced parents and not having a consistent household or belief system, I was often thrown around in chaos. If I was with my dad we most likely wouldn’t go to church, if I was with my mom we would, and many times living part of the time with my grandparents, my grandma always made sure we went to church. I loved it growing up, the music was beautiful, my pastor was funny and made amazing chocolate chip cookies. 

    My biggest fear growing up was my Dad, and I struggled with fear all the way into adulthood. When I turned 18 I moved out hours away from family to live on my own. The first week there I was so afraid I didn’t leave the house for days, ate crackers and m&ms and hid from the world. That fear guided my every move. I slowly got myself to go to the grocery store, walk around the neighborhood and meet new people. By then I had left the church because I identified as pansexual, witnessed a very poor baptist preacher and I read books about all the bad things churches have done in history. As an angry teenager it was not a good mix, and with all the trauma I went through, I had many doubts about God. I wanted God to be real, so I told him if he was real, he would make himself known to me. Unfortunately I said it out loud, something that makes it easy for the devil to use against me. That assertion about God gave the enemy a very easy door into my personal perception of God. If I would have trusted in the Bible, I would have avoided a lot of confusion and mess. 

    Because I blamed God for what the church did, I was so distant from him and outside of his will. I thought I found this new freedom, I could do whatever I wanted. I was finally away from the abuse that haunted me and I thought living by my own rules would benefit me. But truly I was alone, stuck, suffering and dying in my sin. I went on lots of dates, made new friends and did what all “normal” college kids did. I drank at parties and smoked weed. I didn’t truly have the desire to smoke but because people around me were, it seemed like the thing to do. And I lived in Oregon where it was readily available. Every time I gave my flesh what it wanted, through my fear of missing out, it didn’t make me happy. It never filled me with joy. It didn’t bring me closer to God. The amount of trials I went through that made my life so difficult all could’ve been avoided if I trusted in God, if I read his word enough to know him deeply. Through it all, God still protected me when I didn’t deserve it. There were times I would drink or smoke and I would stay completely sober, confused but sober. There were two times I almost got kidnapped and God stood in between me and those men and let me walk freely, unharmed. Although I left God, he never left me. 

    God meets us at our level, and he met me at my lowest. I had moved to a different town to live with my then boyfriend, and living with him I became his girlfriend wife. I did all my wifely duties without his commitment. I worked constantly, at my job, then at home on my business, chores, helping him, taking care of his cat. I was constantly tired. I had gotten deep into new age spirituality, and identified as a pagan witch. I considered myself a white-witch, a term for someone who only does “good magic”. I was constantly learning new practices, belief systems, doing tarot card readings and using crystals. I had my hand in every pot of new age as I could find. I believed in aliens, greek deities, norse deities, signs and symbols, zodiac, birth charts, you name it. I had many friends who believed the same things, so my interest was always growing stronger. I really thought I was learning the truth. Last year I really started to get tired of how my boyfriend never believed in anything because it wasn’t scientific or the truth. 

    So I was determined to find the truth of the universe. My ex-boyfriend had started using mild psilocybin to stimulate his senses, and I slowly started using them too. I started to see how everything is connected, how everything breathes and lives and points to God. I really started to see how God is real, but I didn’t know who he was. I knew he was bigger than any deity, more vast than anything I have learned about and I knew he had a spirit because I could feel it. I called God “Spirit” for the longest time, which is flawed because of how vague it is, there are many spirits in this world. Once I took the largest dose I had ever taken, I fell asleep and woke up to this beautiful light cast on my ceiling from the sun through my window. The presence of God filled my room and he presented himself in light, so bright I could barely look at him. I knew then that he was Jesus, God the Father, and The Holy Spirit. My five pronged fan turned into the presence of Satan, I took one look, recognized him and just knew I had no fear of him, I pitied him. Angels appeared at the top of these clouds, a veil was drawn away and I started to see heaven. Below the angels were apostles, below them disciples, then followers of Christ, and my family. I knew the name of every one of God’s disciples, even though right now, even through reading my Bible and watching the chosen, I couldn’t name them all. While in this vision I knew who everyone was, and they were all smiling down to me. 

    God started speaking to me and filled me with this unconditional love, something I could never put into words. It was the best feeling a soul could experience. I was in the presence of God, being loved by him, and laughing at how everything had to happen this way. My trauma happened to make me stronger and enabled me to help others going through the same things, every choice I made, I did because of who I am and the options I had, my perspective and the way I was raised. The biggest lesson I took out of that experience was that God is love at his core, he loved me and Jesus is real. At the time, even through such a crazy experience, it didn’t get me to believe in God. It took months of me continuing to search for truth, struggling more with unemployment, a strained relationship and spiritual warfare. God never stopped pursuing me, I would find the presence of Jesus at my work and I was so confused by Jesus showing up to a pagan. He showed up on the walls in light that formed a cross. He showed up in food I was prepping at work, just pieces of broccoli with cracks in the shape of a perfect cross and the one that really got me was when I was eating Pad Thai one day. I was on break eating and felt the presence of God again and looked down to see a perfect cross made from two green onions, glowing at the top of my bowl. It was incredible and so personal, because I knew no one would believe me if I told them. But that got me to realize Jesus is God and made me believe in him.

     I started feeling called to go to church but I had no idea where to go and had never gone by myself before. I found a church through a friend and started going. The first day I went, I was late to worship but heard the music in the hallway. It felt like the church where I grew up, but different. The first thing the pastor said in that sermon was that God is love. At the time, that was the only thing I knew about God. I needed to keep listening. It was truly hearing the word of God that got me to believe in him.  

    Matthew 4:4 “Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

    God continues to reveal himself to me every day. He speaks to me through the clouds, music, animals, friends and family and through his word. He never stops speaking, even if I can’t hear his voice. He has shown me sides to him I never knew existed when my relationship with him was strained. Because I accepted his love and forgiveness by what Jesus did on the cross and rose three days later, I was able to have a better relationship with him. It took a lot of pruning in my life, old habits, friends, music, clothing, social media. Everything in my life had to be renewed to be in good relationship with God. 

    I kept going to that church and a few weeks later God told me to break up with my boyfriend and to follow him. So I did, though it was so hard, I listened to him and followed his guidance. I slowly started using the Bible to guide my life and it was transformative. Every question I had was answered in the Bible. Reading it I felt it come alive and read me. I felt God talking directly to my soul. I was never going to be the same. 

    I was led to get rid of my witchy items, tarot cards, books, crystals, decorations, altars and necklaces. I had two friends who convinced me to burn these necklaces I used for protection at church. It was so freeing and I was so happy I felt like a kid again. I had this joy that filled me, I was skipping and had not a worry in the world. The catholic community took such good care of me at that time, they were always there for me when I was crying or upset. They got me a place to live and supported me through my breakup. 

    The funniest thing was I saw God and didn’t believe in him, but when I heard his word and felt his presence, even seeing a perfect cross made of green onions… that’s what made me believe in God. All the parties I went to, all the substances I had, all I drank and puked, I had the most fun at a Catholic mardi gras party where we drank water and sang disney songs in karaoke. I was so surprised that I was completely sober and having so much fun. The way they accepted me although I was not Christian or Catholic was so loving, I knew God had something to do with it. 

    I am here to tell you, God is more real than we are. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life and no one gets to the father except through him. The Bible will answer all your questions about life and God, and Jesus is the only one who can be a good best friend. Drugs and parties and alcohol are a distraction and a waste of time, and only hurt your mind and body. You will never get high enough or drunk enough to fix your problems or heal your pain, but the closer you get to God, the more healed you become, the more life you will gain. 

    Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

    God met me while doing things I shouldn’t have been, but I was fortunate God is a God of love and left the 99 sheep for me. We cannot abuse his love, he deserves all we can give. Jesus forgave me of my sin, but now I owe him my life for the sacrifice he gave for me. His death on the cross gave me mine, and his resurrection gives me the gift of eternal life. I am so thankful God pulled me out of my pit, so please don’t dig one for yourselves. 

    1 Peter 5:8-9 

     “Be alert and of a sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.”

    Just like the serpent convinced Eve to talk to him, to go against God’s will, to fear missing out, and to rebel, the devil was able to convince me he wasn’t real, hell wasn’t real and that I was living a righteous life. Now is the time to learn God’s voice versus the enemy’s, and know the truth yourself. 

    Hosea 4:6 

    “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because they have rejected knowledge, I will also reject them, that they shall be no priest to me: seeing they have forgotten the law of their God, I will also forget my children.”